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Raymond George Harder, first-born child to Paul Richard and Cleta Joyce Harder (Egan) was born in Virginia in 1959 and came to Brea, California as a toddler. He grew up with two younger siblings with many pets in a close-knit neighborhood where his family stayed for the rest of his life. He was a Boy Scout, sang in high school choir, and loved the Anaheim Angels.
His first job after paper route was in high school working at a local mortuary, followed by learning to administer EKGs to help out on clinic days at his mother’s innovative school for brain injured children, now called The Cleta Harder Developmental School. He attended Cal State Fullerton and married his high school sweetheart Paige Carrie Smith (m. 1979; div.1996). Together they had three living children.
Ray attended UCLA to do graduate studies in ancient languages of the Middle East. He could read and write nine languages, although his speaking skills were limited. Some of the languages were so old they had no oral component. He was always concerned with issues of political unrest and humanitarian issues, especially in that region, and visited Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. His career though was spent in education and Computer Science, and he taught at University and consulted on technology in schools in multiple school districts and private schools.
He also travelled broadly across U.S. cities and also visited Canada, the Netherlands, and the Yangtze River before its final damming, which he called one of the worst ecological, social, and archeological catastrophes of our time.
He was a voracious reader, and at last count had over 5,000 books across genres in his reduced library. He read and remembered them all with astonishing detail, including every book that had ever been awarded a Pulitzer Prize. As an adult his favorite novel was Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God.
He enjoyed listening to classical music and exploring any type of museum where he could be found reading the entire print on every exhibit. He explored religions deeply but said ultimately his best advice was, “Love, period.”
He struggled significantly with mental health, bipolar disorder and for over twenty years with progressive multiple sclerosis. He regretted how these illnesses affected his relationships. For the last ten years he lived near his daughter and in a nursing home for the last five years. These illnesses along with blood cancer contributed to his demise, He died in August 2025.
He cared deeply about social justice, economic inequalities, and marginalized people. He loved international food (he himself was a terrible cook), and poetry, and had some surprising mid-life hobbies including photography, scuba diving, and briefly ballroom dancing. He enjoyed playing chess and building a computer and teaching Greek and Hieroglyphics to his grandchildren.
He leaves behind his mother (Cleta), brother Dave Harder (Lesa), sister Joanna Harder Marriott (Dean), and three adult children: Hannah Harder-Chancellor (Evan) and their three children, Tim Harder (Erin Maxwell) and Carrie Beckwith (Ehren) and their son as well as five nephews and their families and various relatives from central Indiana and Illinois. (Original names and spellings for historical record). He is preceded in death by an infant stillborn son Nathaniel, six other early term infants, by father Paul Harder, by his former wife Paige.
His final wish was to donate tissues and will be benefiting neurological research at The Harvard Brain Bank because even in death he ultimately wished first and foremost to ease suffering and further knowledge.
A celebration of reading and book donation event has been planned in memorium, date forthcoming.
The Olson Funeral Home & Cremation Service has been entrusted with Raymond’s arrangements.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and condolences can be left on the obituary at the funeral home website.
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